Addiction and the Gospel

I've mentioned my friend Teresa in some of my previous posts, and now it's time to give her husband, Tal, a mention. They are part of a ministry called Route1520, which helps families and individuals who struggle with, or have been affected by, sexual addiction.

I love what they are doing. And I love that the things they talk about affect all of us - at the heart of sex addiction is the same thing that's at the heart of ANY addiction or brokenness that we experience.

Below is a video of Tal talking about the hurt that led to his addiction, and his encounter with the Gospel that began his journey out of addiction. I find it interesting that much of what he says in the second half relates to what I said about my own journey in this video. The specific sin and brokenness in our lives might look a lot different, but when you distill it down to the root, it all has the same cause and the same solution.

I'm probably not done mentioning Tal and Teresa. In fact, Teresa just published another blog post that hit home for me in several areas of my life. I see reflections of myself in much of what they say and anticipate sharing more of their videos and writing with you in the future.

Stay tuned later this week for my next vlog! This one will be about "riding the wave."

Here is Tal's video:

Giving Myself a Boost of Faith

For about the past five years, I've tried various versions of starting my own business or doing some type of freelance work. Like, seven or more.

And each of them have either failed or fizzled out. Well, one of them was okay, but I came to realize it definitely wasn't for me.

These failures have haunted me. Haunted is a strong word, I suppose, so maybe that's not what I really mean to say. But they certainly bothered me. Why didn't they work out? Why did I fail? WHAT is wrong with me?

Over the past six months God has been bringing various pieces of the puzzle together for me, and then one day, Clinton from "What Not To Wear" suddenly brought the overall puzzle picture into clear view for me. (Yes, really.) He was giving advice to a woman who was constantly frustrated by not being able to find pants that fit her. She was quite depressed about it, and it was one reason why she had given up on any form of fashion for herself.

And Clinton told her, "YOU are not the problem. The CLOTHES are the problem."

For years she had only seen her body as imperfect and herself as a failure. The clothes were the standard, and she constantly didn't measure up.

But Clinton told her that she had a unique body, and designers make their clothes to fit the broadest spectrum of women possible. Which means that they don't make anything ready-to-wear for someone with her body type.

Then he and Stacy showed her how to make the clothes behave. They showed her the one or two places she had to make sure that pants fit, and then they showed her how a tailor could alter everything else. And suddenly, she had clothes that fit.

You could see the mental and emotional transformation taking place. By the end, she was having FUN shopping! She felt empowered because she now had knowledge of how to make the clothes fit her, not the other way around.

I've realized that in all of my business ventures, I've ignored something really important. I've ignored the things I'm NOT good at. Well, actually, I haven't ignored them - I've been apologizing for them; attempting to make up for them.

"I know I'm not good at X, but that's what my potential customers will want, so I need to make up for my deficiency in that area. I'll just try really, really hard. I'll be really disciplined, and it will all work out."

Only, it didn't.

I was trying to make myself fit the clothes.

As a result of various bits of revelation, I finally have a new perspective. I have a new confidence in myself, that the things I'm good at doing are GOOD ENOUGH. And that I can simply say no to the things I'm not good at. Why should I set myself up for failure? Why give anyone an expectation that will be a struggle for me to fulfill?

Now, I'm not saying that life will be perfect and I'll never have to do any work that I find difficult or tedious. But I have given myself permission to let go of unrealistic expectations for myself and focus mainly on my unique gifts and talents.

And you know what I've done? I started another venture. It's quite spontaneous and I'm just taking each day as it comes. But I'm excited about it.

What do I hope to do with it? First and foremost I want to help people build their passion through social media specifically, and through encouragement and ideas and creativity and innovation and strategy in general. I want to come alongside of them and give them a boost, help to give them a fresh perspective, and serve as someone who can help them do the things they can't do for themselves.

I would like for this to be a business, but most of all, I've come to the conclusion that I want this to be my ministry. Whether I get paid or not, I need to help people. This is my passion, and I'm finally giving myself a boost of faith to put it all out there.

I started to do a vlog about this but it just did not flow well. I was going to try the vlog again but then felt that I needed to type this out. I like having both options available to me!

In closing, here is my Facebook page. I'll be sharing general tips and advice on a building a social media presence, whether you are building a business, a non-profit, or a brand for yourself. Come "like" my page, and definitely email me at Erin.Kinzel@gmail.com if there is any way I can help you!

Boundaries, Part 2

Thanks to those of you who commented on the blog and in person about my last post. Putting a video out there is definitely a whole new level of vulnerability, so the positive feedback is encouraging.

Here is the second part of "what I learned from the book 'Boundaries.'" (Here is part one.) Again, there is glare on my glasses but hopefully it's not too much of a distraction.


Vlog 3 - Boundaries, part 2 from Erin Kinzel on Vimeo.

Here is a link to a blog post from my friend Teresa that helped spark part of this discussion. It's called "My Mouth Said Yes, My Heart Said No."

Blogging, Take 2

After almost a year without posting, I'm ready to jump back into blogging. I've learned a few things about myself and feel like I have a refreshed perspective on a lot of stuff. I'll probably still post about random things and Kaitlyn stories, but the focus will be on the things God has taught me over the past few years. (And what he continues to teach me.)

I'm also going to try doing a video format. I recorded my first three vlogs (short for "video blogs") and will post the first two here. I promised myself that I wasn't going to be a perfectionist about the videos - there are things I don't like about them, such as the sound quality and the glare on my glasses in the second one.

However... I'm trying to move past perfectionism. At some point I'll do a vlog about perfectionism as the enemy of progress. So many times I hesitate to take action because I see the imperfections, but the thing about that is... you never go anywhere. And I want to go somewhere.

I'm not sure how all of this will go, but another thing I'm trying to move past is the need to have all my ducks in a row and know exactly how something will turn out before I get started. You know how that's worked in the past? I get all my ducks in a row and the thing still doesn't turn out like I thought. At this point all my ducks are running around and it's all very unruly, and I'm not going to let it stop me.

So... without further ado, here are my first two videos:

Vlog Intro:

Vlog Intro from Erin Kinzel on Vimeo.

Boundaries, Part 1 (sorry for the glare on my glasses!):

Vlog 2 - Boundaries, part 1 from Erin Kinzel on Vimeo.

Here are the links I mentioned:

Boundaries Book

Article about boundaries by Teresa Prince

Graham Cooke video