Don't try this at home, parts II, III, IV, etc.

I seem to be doing a lot of klutzy and/or ditsy things lately. Here are the events that have followed my throwing the coffee down the stairs performance:

*I managed to dump an entire grease tray full of hamburger drippings on the kitchen floor (thankfully it wasn't hot)

*I dropped a raw egg on my kitchen rug

*I melted a plastic spoon because I used it to stir some onion strings I was frying (duh!)

*I melted one of our chairs in the office, because I set my plugged in crock pot on a chair with a plastic cover (another duh!)

It seems like there is something else that should go on this list, but I can't remember it.

I think these are all signs that I need to stop cooking. What do you think?

Riding in alligators, among other things

Last week I used my new-to-me bread machine for the first time. I bought it at a garage sale for $10, from a lady who said she bought it several years ago and only used it a few times. I asked if it was in OK condition, and she said, "Oh yes - it works fine. I stopped using it because we gave up carbs soon after I bought it."

(How many people have invested in expensive specialty appliances only to have them end up in the appliance graveyard in the back of the cupboard or the garage or the basement?)

I've been wondering if I might like having (and would actually USE) a bread machine, and $10 is an affordable risk, so I bought it.

On Thursday I finally used it and as I pulled the freshly baked honey wheat bread out I thought about my grandma. At her memorial service my aunt and uncle read through some memories she had written down several years ago. It was so interesting to hear about her life growing up and during the early years of her marriage.

She was born in 1918, and married my grandpa in 1938. (I think... maybe it was 1937? Or 1939?) They didn't have electricity for quite a while (that came in the late '40's or early '50's, I think?) and they didn't get indoor plumbing until the late '50's.

She had to go out to the pump in the yard, get her water, then haul it into the house. (And then take the dirty water back out.) She used a wood stove to cook on, and I think she had a hole dug into the ground to keep things cool.

As I sliced through my home baked bread, I thought about the effort it would have taken for grandma to make that same loaf, versus the effort it had taken me. What a difference.

It also made me think, "what am I doing with my extra time?" We have so many devices and appliances and conveniences that cut down on the time and effort required for every day living. Where am I putting that extra time and energy?

I'll be chewing on that question for a while.

Also, here is what my sister Monica read at grandma's service. It was a very nice service, one that truly honored my grandma's life and her dedication to serving the Lord.

Kaitlyn behaved beautifully for the two-day trip. We rode out with my mom, and of course, the portable DVD player. And Princess Gigi, who I have a love/hate relationship with, but I'll save that discussion for another day.

The only bad points for Kaitlyn were sleep (she went to bed late and woke up at 4:45am) and the fact that the one time she decided to have an attitude was as we walked into the actual memorial service. Nice timing, kiddo. Thankfully, her lack of sleep caught up to her midway through the service and she took a nap.

She amazed me by staying dry for the entire two days - even overnight and during the few small naps she had. Wow.

One cute story... When we got to the hotel, my niece Alyssa met us in the lobby and helped us get Kaitlyn and all the luggage upstairs to our room. We mentioned to Kaitlyn that we were going to ride in the elevator. "Have you ever ridden in an elevator?" my mom asked her. She just looked at my mom like she wasn't sure what to think about the situation.

We stepped into the elevator and she immediately wanted to be picked up. Again, she didn't look too sure about the whole thing.

We got off and were on our way down the hall when Kaitlyn said something about the alligator. "Alligator? What alligator?" we wondered.

And then it dawned on us.

I never thought about how similar the words "elevator" and "alligator" sound.

I wonder if he'll get any replies

From yesterday's personal ads in the newspaper:

Senior Gentleman would like to meet Senior Lady for companion. Live-in and light housework. Please call xxx-xxxx.

Don't try this at home

Yesterday morning I threw a cup of coffee down the stairs.

I had the cup in my hand, 3/4 full, and the sleeve of my bathrobe caught on the half-wall by our stairs as I walked by. Because of the way it all happened, my coffee cup went flying out of my hand, slammed against one wall, and bounced back and forth between the stair walls as it bumped down to the basement.

In a split second, there was coffee splattered on three walls, the kitchen floor, the hallway carpet, and the carpet on five or six stairs.

I couldn't do that again if I tried.

I just stood there for a second in disbelief and then tried to figure out where to start the clean up. I got everything mostly cleaned up when I looked up and realized that Kaitlyn had peed on the floor.

This is the scene my poor husband happened upon when he got out of the shower. This was also the moment when I gave up on the idea of getting to church on time.

We eventually got everything cleaned up, although there are still light stains on the carpet. Today I found myself wondering - if I had only used a tad bit more creamer, would it have matched?

Switching gears... I must share a conversation that occurred between Mike and Kaitlyn last night at Wal-Mart. For several months Mike has been talking about getting a flat screen TV. My standard response is, "Ok. You take a look at our bank account, and if you feel that's a wise way to spend our money, then go right ahead and buy it."

(Evil, yes, but it's quite effective.)

Last night Mike ran to the store to pick up something for work and he took Kaitlyn with him. While they were there he couldn't resist taking a stroll through the electronics section.

K: Daddy, what are those? [looking at all the display TVs]

M: Those are TVs honey.

K: Wow! Those are TVs? [she's in this mode of repeating everything]

M: Yes they are. Do you think we should get one?

K: But we have TVs at home that we can watch!

EXACTLY. Out of the mouths of babes...

She's probably teaching Moses how to crochet

My grandma went home to be with Jesus early this morning. She's been in declining health for several years now, so this is not a surprise.

I wouldn't say that I was extremely close to grandma, but I have lots of great memories of going out to the farm in Illinois to visit her and grandpa. She is the one who taught me to crochet, and I suspect that I got at least part of my craft gene from her. She was always creating something, and loved to take ordinary items and repurpose them into something crafty.

I'll be heading to Illinois sometime this week to celebrate her life with the rest of my family.

Wanted: a new mop

I need a new mop.

Right now I have a basic Swiffer thingy that I bought before Mike and I were married. It is more than six years old, and today I noticed a big chunk missing from the bottom. I also noticed that I've almost used up the massive amount of Swiffer wet cloths that I bought in bulk at Sam's Club, which would make this the perfect time to reevaluate my mopping tools and consider buying something new.

I don't want to invest a ton of money, but I do want something that will do a good job and be mostly hassle-free. (Maybe I should be looking for a maid??)

So, any thoughts? Any reccomendations? Or strong non-reccomendations?

Conversation from Wednesday morning

Me: Hey - you put your shoes on all by yourself! Good job!

K: No, I didn't.

Me: [puzzled, since she is clearly wearing shoes, and I clearly did not help her put them on] You didn't?

K: No. [insert attitude here, along with what was possibly a roll of the eyes] These are not shoes. They're sandals.

Oh, well, excuse me. I guess this is practice for when she hits the pre-teen stage?

Important Discovery

Kaitlyn can lock/unlock the door.

Thankfully, this was discovered while I was in the room with her. She said, "Mommy, I locked the door!" I checked, and sure enough, she had locked it. Then I told her to unlock it, just to make sure she knew how to do that. She does, which is good news. Hopefully this means we won't have lock-herself-in-a-room-and-can't-get-out drama.

However.

The bad news is, she knows how to lock the door. And she's smart enough (and two enough) to think it would be funny to lock the garage door while Mommy steps out to the freezer for a second. Or to go into the bathroom, lock the door, and get into who-knows-what.

There are some milestones that leave you feeling extremely proud of your child. And then there are those that take your prayer life to a new level.

We interrupt this silence to bring you a blog post

Hi.

I'm still here.

I had one blog post in March. I don't quite know what's derailed me, but I'm hoping to get back on track.

Why is it that the longer I go without a post, the harder it is to compose a new one?

My goal tonight is to simply post something. I believe I've achieved my goal.

Oh - I do have one piece of GREAT news! (This post really will end up with some substance!)

My mom had her post-chemo tests a few weeks ago, and when they did the CT scan there was a spot of concern in her colon. They couldn't tell if it was a tumor, or if it was scar tissue from her surgery. They did a biopsy, and her doctor called her on Sunday to tell her the results came back and the spot is benign! WOOOOOOOOOOHOO! Isn't God good??