Where does she come up with this stuff?

This morning I was going through the normal routine of getting ready for work, and was in the bathroom drying my hair. I had just finished and turned off the hairdryer, when I looked down and noticed Kaitlyn standing in the doorway. Here is our conversation:

Me: Hi! What's goin' on?

K: I love you mommy.

Me: Awwww... I love you too honey!

Me: Can I have a kiss?

K: [in a pitifully sad voice] No.

[turns her back to me]

Me: Honey, what's the matter? Are you ok?

K: No. I'm sad. [still in the pitiful voice]

Me: [thinking something might really be wrong] What happened? Why are you sad?

K: [mumbles something I can't understand]

Me: What did you say? Why are you sad? [starting to worry about whatever has happened to made her sad]

K: [the pitiful voice is still in effect here] Because I lost my mommy.

Me: What? Because you lost your mommy???

K: Yes.

This is when I busted up laughing! She turned around and gave me a sly little look, like she was enjoying her little joke. She started laughing, and it turned it a really silly moment. Where does she come up with this? Especially since Mike and I, and our collective families, aren't silly at all. Not one bit.

Ahem.

Also, I'm sure the Oscar people will be calling me at any moment to say that her performance this morning has earned her an unprecedented last-minute nomination. (Look out Angelina and Meryl!)

Today's conversations with Kaitlyn

Conversation #1
(On the way home tonight)

Kaitlyn: Mommy, it's my birfday!

Me: It's your birthday??

Kaitlyn: Yeah! It's my birfday! I have to blow out can-dulls.

Me: Oh honey, it's not your birthday today. You won't have a birthday for, well, [pausing to think about Kaitlyn's concept of time, or lack thereof] well, it won't be your birthday for a long time.

Kaitlyn: Puh-leeze, mommy? Pweeze my birfday? Blow out can-dulls!

Me: Is that what you want? You want to blow out candles?

Kaitlyn: Yeah!

Me: Ok. Maybe you can blow out some candles tonight.

(We both forgot about the candles, so I never had to follow through with the fake birthday.)

Conversation #2
(I had just finished telling Mike that Kaitlyn sat on the potty today at the sitter's house.)

Me (to Kaitlyn): Do you think you might be ready to be potty trained?

Kaitlyn: Um, yeah. Oh - no - I want to brush my teeth first!

PRAISE REPORT!

I'm sure you can guess by the title that I heard from my doctor's office this morning, and it was a great report. The spot is nothing to worry about.

Praise the Lord!!

I knew the odds were in my favor, but there was still a nagging "what if" recording playing in the background of my thoughts. It was so nice to get the call and breath a big sigh of relief.

It is also a blessing that I heard back so quickly. I thought it might be possible that I would hear something today, but was preparing myself to not know until tomorrow afternoon. My doctor's nurse, Holly, goes to church with us and has really been looking out for us through this whole process. When she saw the results come in this morning, she made it her personal mission to put aside everything else, find the doctor to confirm everything, and then call to tell me. What a blessing!

Thanks to everyone who was praying for me!!

Surely I have a delightful inheritance

Today has been a good day. I ended up taking the whole day off work because the roads are so bad, and I didn't want to stress about running here, there and everywhere. It gave me an opportunity to not rush around this morning, and to take my time getting ready for the day.

I took Kaitlyn to the sitter's house around 10 a.m., ran an errand, then got home with plenty of time to get dinner in the crock pot for tonight and make some lunch.

Mike took some time off work so he could run me to the hospital, and we arrived there a few minutes early. I got checked in and the receptionist took me back to the changing room. As I was changing into the hospital gown I was also talking to God, and this verse popped into my head:

"Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Psalm 16:5-6

Now, I have to pause here and say just how powerful the Word of God is. This is a verse that I never worked to memorize; I simply wrote it, along with a bunch of other verses, on some spiral-bound note cards that I've kept at home or work over the past 5+ years. When I need encouragement, I read through some of the cards. The fact that it popped into my head and I was able to recite it word for word is a testament to John 14:26, where Jesus tells us that the Holy Spirit will "remind you of everything I have said to you."

So, as an encouragement, even passive, quick, "I-just-need-a-boost-of-the-Word" reading of the Bible is powerful and effective!

Anyway, I wondered why the Holy Spirit would choose to give me this particular verse. I meditated on this as I sat in the waiting room, and kept rolling the verse around in my head.

Then, it struck me that I have a delightful inheritance. This is the third time this week that the word "inheritance" has been significant. I mentioned in this post that I have an incredible inheritance of faith. My dad called last night and said that I should read Psalm 61, which also mentions an "inheritance of those who fear [the Lord's] name."

I began to think about the concept of an inheritance, and why was the Holy Spirit highlighting this?

That's when it hit me. The reason I went for a biopsy today was because of my family history. Because there is a question of what I may have inherited, genetically speaking.

Doctors tell you the facts; but God tells you the truth. And the truth he was communicating to me today is that I have a delightful inheritance. Not an inheritance of sickness and death.

Right after I had this revelation was when the nurse appeared and called my name. Sure, I was nervous about the procedure, not knowing exactly what it would feel like and whether or not it would be painful, but I also went into it with complete peace.

The doctor and the two nurses who did the procedure were awesome. We spent the entire time chatting, which made the whole thing go by quickly. And, really and truly, it wasn't all that bad. They all commented that I had a great attitude about everything, which I know is about 90% of the battle. I also know that my good attitude had a lot to do with all of the prayers being lifted up for me - I am so grateful to everyone for your prayers!

Mike and I walked out of the hospital at 1:00, so the entire thing only took about 30 minutes. I am at home now, enjoying a rare afternoon all by myself! I am starting to feel some pain, but still, it's not bad.

When I got online to write this post, I looked up Psalm 16. I was amazed to read the rest of the verses, and am once again encouraged.

1 Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge. 2 I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." 3 As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight. 4 The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. 5 Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. 6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. 7 I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.

8 I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. 9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, 10 because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. 11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Isn't God good? Another awesome thing is that prior to Christmas, I asked Sara to put a Bible verse onto a picture of Kaitlyn. When I looked at this particular picture it reminded me of carefree, unbridled joy, so I wanted a verse about joy. You know what verse I picked? Psalm 16:11. Amazing.


I should know the results of the biopsy by Tuesday, and believe me, I'll keep you posted!

God is good, all the time

So. I went for a second mammogram today.

I was told this was fairly normal. I knew that the first mammogram may pose some questions, because it is the baseline for the future. If I have cysts or dense tissue that have always been there, this is the first time the doctors are actually seeing them, and they need to do their best to determine if they are cause for concern.

And, considering my family history, I knew that I would be scrutinized more than most.

I was hoping to be told that everything looked ok after all, thanks for coming, see you next year, yada yada.

However.

They wanted to take the next step and do an ultra-sound.

And then, the doctor came in to take a look. He showed me the specific spot that was causing concern, and said that he wants me to come back for a biopsy.

Not what I wanted to hear.

However.

The next words out of his mouth were, "I really don't think this is anything to be concerned about, and if you were anyone else, I would say that we should keep an eye on this and be sure to check it at your next mammogram. But considering your family history, I would rather do a biopsy and be 100% sure."

Mike had come along to the appointment with me, and I hated having to go back into the waiting room and tell him that I had to schedule a biopsy. As we walked out of the hospital, I think we were both in shock. We talked briefly about it, but we had driven separately and it was freezing cold today so we didn't stand there and talk for long before jumping into our cars and heading home.

By the time we arrived home, we had made our respective phone calls to all of the important people in our lives, giving them an update. And we had both had a little time to process everything.

And, when the dust settled, the bottom line is that we are both at peace with this. Based on the doctor's comment, it seems that there are two outcomes. #1 - this is nothing. #2 - it is something, but it is at such an early stage that if I was any other woman, he wouldn't consider it serious enough to do a biopsy.

My appointment for the biopsy is set for this Thursday at 12:30 (eastern time). We will know the results next Monday or Tuesday.

In the meantime, I am resting in the peace that passes understanding. I am casting my cares onto Jesus. I am not worrying about tomorrow, because that won't do me any good.

How amazing is it that today, two bloggers I follow regularly had encouraging posts, reminding me that God is control. (Thank you Queen B and Sara.)

God is good, all the time. He is always faithful.

And, I haven't been able to get this song out of my head since church on Sunday. Isn't it amazing?

Update

This is an update on two very important things.

First, my mammogram went well. My tech was incredibly nice, and while the whole process was a little uncomfortable (what with all the squishing and pulling), it wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

Second, I don't like the new Wiggles. I know you have all been waiting on pins and needles to find out what I think about their new format, and finally I am ready to share my opinion with you.

It's not so much that I don't like Sam (the new Wiggle), I just don't like the new format. It's just a bunch of songs that they sing while standing in front a green screen, and they change costumes and the background to fit the song. Can't we go back to the boat, and the car, and the beach, and the "Little Wiggles", and the Wiggle house, and the live concert shots?

I cannot believe I have so much of an opinion about this. I never thought I would spend so much time and energy comparing two versions of a children's show.

That's all. Off to finish the rest of my morning coffee... Have a happy weekend!

Tomorrow is the big day

Tomorrow (or today, if you are reading this on Friday) is the day I go for my first mammogram. Some people (um, ok, I should say "women" here because I haven't really discussed this with any men) look at me strange when I mention that I'm having a mammogram.

Then I remember - you aren't supposed to have mammograms when you're 31.

I don't know exactly when I first learned that my mom had been diagnosed with cancer, and more importantly, had beat it. I think I was 10 months old when she was diagnosed, and I was probably somewhere in elementary school before I had any comprehension of what this meant.

I do, however, vividly remember high school health class when we talked about breast cancer and testicular cancer. They passed around fake breasts and testicles and we were supposed to find the lumps in them.

[I can't believe I just typed that last sentence. Moving on...]

I suppose it was at that time that I was educated about preventative measures, including mammograms. I also suppose this is when I learned that since my mom was diagnosed at age 30/31, I needed to start having mammograms at a much earlier age than what is typically recommended.

So, to me, it's nothing unusual that tomorrow is my first one. But the reaction of other women is a reminder that my family is a little unusual.

As I was pondering this tonight, I realized how blessed I am.

From the moment I was old enough to know what cancer is, I was also clearly aware that it is something you can beat. My mom is living proof.

I never feared cancer. Even when my mom was diagnosed a second time, when I was in college, I don't think I ever really worried about the outcome. Ingrained in the core of my being was the belief that cancer is something to be survived.

Sure, I knew plenty of cases where that wasn't the outcome. But I still did not fear it.

Most of this I credit to my mom and dad's incredible faith. I never heard them speak of any fear that cancer might show up again. They have learned how to rest in Jesus, and it shows. They have learned how to rest in the peace that passes understanding, and because of this, I have an incredible inheritance of faith.

With the events of this past year, I can't say that I've never worried. Plenty of "what if" thoughts have clouded my mind, from time to time. But I am so blessed to be part of a community of faith, which starts with my family and extends to my church family, my friends, and my co-workers. I am so blessed.

I'm not necessarily looking forward to tomorrow. (Who would?) But I love that it has spurred these thoughts, and has become a reminder that I am blessed.

To the amazing women in my life - Mom, Monica, and Andrea - I am so privileged to be your daughter/sister. Thanks for being faithful examples to me for 31+ years. I love you!!

My online organization system

(I am double-dipping with this, since it is both my Works for Me Wednesday post and my Keeping Creative Kitchens post.)

When I became aware of the wonderful world of blogging, I was quickly overwhelmed by the amount of tips, advice, and information I received. I would start at one blog, where someone would share some bit of incredible information, then they would have a link that led me to another bit of incredible information. Before I knew it, I was visiting so many different places and picking up so many bits and pieces of things that I wanted to remember.

Can you say "information overload"??

Another frequent habit was reading something and thinking that I would remember it down the road, or that I would at least remember that so-and-so was the blogger who had the really great recipe that I wanted to try the next time I had company.

This "remembering" system really didn't work out for me.

At some point towards the beginning of my web-hopping journey, I stumbled upon a blogger who had created a separate blog, just for storing information. I thought it was a neat idea, but I was still under the impression that I could remember the things I really wanted to remember, so I never thought about implementing the idea for myself.

Then, one Wednesday, while browsing all the many great ideas shared through WFMW, I suddenly remembered this ingenious idea. I created a new blog for myself, with the purpose of using it only to store information for my own personal use. It was one of the best things I did in 2008!

I set it up through my blogger account, and created it to be a private blog. I am the only invited viewer/author. I did this for two reasons. First, I want to be able to jot down information in my own short-handed way, and not have to worry about it being understandable to other people. Second, I use it to keep track of things that I don't necessarily want others to view, such as what I got everyone for Christmas (and where it was hidden).

Now, anytime I see something online that I want to remember for future reference, I create a new post on my information blog, write a little blurb about why I am storing the info, create a link to it, label it appropriately, and publish the post.

For instance, about six weeks ago I came across a blog that had tips for creating freezer meals. After reading those tips, I remembered storing some links to recipes that I wanted to try, and thought they might be good candidates for freezer meals.

So, I went to my information blog and clicked on my "recipes" label, which brought up all of my posts related to recipes. I browsed through and found the links, plus a few others I had forgotten about. I added a new label to those posts called "freezer meals", and also created a new post so I could store the blog with the freezer meal tips, along with some other links I picked up along the way. Someday, after I finally clean up all the Christmas decorations and have motivation to cook again, I will return to those posts and hopefully plan a time to create some wonderful meals and put them in the freezer.

I have labels for kitchen, laundry, cleaning, organization, parenting ideas, entertaining, couponing, etc. (I have more than 30 labels, and continue to add new ones as needed.) I also used this to keep track of my Christmas planning for the year - anything related to the Holidays got a "Christmas" tag. This allowed me to keep track of what cookies I wanted to make, the links for those recipes I had found online, what ingredients I needed to have for each of them, what I needed to shop for, etc.

This has become such a useful tool for me, and I am no longer overwhelmed by trying to track all of the great ideas and recipes I find online. I'm sure there are other systems out there that are designed to help people keep track of these things, but this is what works for me.

Head over to Rocks in My Dryer for more WFMW ideas and to Meant to Be for ideas on Keeping Creative Kitchens.

P.S. I would like to give credit to the blogger who originally had this idea. However, since I read about it many months prior to implementing it, I didn't save the link and now have NO IDEA who that person is. **sigh**

Termites vs. tornadoes

I once heard someone say that every year, termites do more damage to homes than tornadoes. (Just now I did a little web research and found this site, which says that termites actually do more damage than fires, floods, earthquakes, and tornadoes combined.)

This is what popped into my head as I was thinking about New Year's Resolutions. Hang with me here as I try to explain...

I don't have an official list of resolutions, but I do have a general sense that I want to do a few things better this year than I did last year. I don't think I'm alone in having resolutions, and I also don't think I'm alone in starting them with a bang, only to slowly (or not-so-slowly) watch them fizzle into nothingness.

I generally have a great vision in my head - I see the many possibilities and the incredible benefits I will achieve. I get excited and start to develop plans, and do research, and set goals, and then I try to align my current self with my future ideal self. This is where I usually get derailed.

I think it's a case of not being able to "see the forest for the trees." (Or maybe it's a backwards version of this? Hmmm....) I see the entire forest and I want to conquer it, so I run as fast as I can towards it. I run with excitement - "look what I'm going to conquer!" But as I approach it, I see the trees. Oh, how many trees there are! I see them individually and think, "Oh man - I have to conquer that one, and that one, and that one..." The task suddenly seems daunting and impossible, and I feel horribly inadequate.

Then I fall asleep in the shade of a tree, and give up on conquering it, or any other tree, let alone the entire forest.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

As I was thinking about all of this I realized that I want change to come like a tornado, or a hurricane, or an earthquake. I want it to come fast and furious; I want to see results!

This is when I thought about termites.

There is nothing spectacular about termites. They don't make the news. One little termite, all by himself, is not an immediate threat.

However, a lot of little termites, all taking one little bite at a time, can make a big difference.

I realized that I need to think like a termite. I can't "despise the day of small things," a quote taken from Zechariah 4:10. I need to go back and read more of Zechariah to refresh my understanding of the context of this verse, but after browsing the chapter it appears that God is presenting the vision of a huge task, and reminding the Israelites that great things have small beginnings.

(I was interested to see that this is also the chapter that says "'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord." Interesting.)

I'm chewing this over right now, and trying to understand how to apply it to my life - specifically to my goals for the year. Heh - I just realized that I said "I'm chewing it over." Just like a termite. Maybe I'm making progress after all?

Slow and steady wins the race, right??